What's the most valuable lesson you've learned in life, and...

Gadzooks! It's Torchy Todd slumming it in Yugoslavian science fiction! The shame!

Torchy thinks: Maybe I could play a gangster's moll since apparently smoking is still seen as wholesome and American.

But Tess! I mean Betty! I mean Veronica! (I can never remember who is who) which ever one you are, I love you!

If you lived in South Africa, would you support nuclear power as a solution to the country's energy woes?

Perhaps now we can explore what being a “gal pal” really means.

Tess' boyfriend, Ed, now works as a Peter Lorre impersonator.

Every day is a good day to punch a Nazi! I mean MAGA! I mean the Comics Code Authority! (I can never remember who is who)

Why aren't you a Trump supporter?

Two letters of transit signed by General De Gaulle … Stimpy, you eediot!

“Your boyfriend is a total perv, mommy.”

And I ended up moonlighting in Japanese porn, but the less said about that the better.

Have you ever witnessed a remote beach show where hundreds of turtles crawling to the water?

Ironically, Wertham focused on stories about crime, singling out Batman and Robin for its gay subtext and Dick Tracy for its violence.

After you lather me up with that strawberry hand lotion.

I've also been making ends meet ... By appearing in Tijuana splatter comics as Evil Gringo #2.

Why would Trump make conspiracy claims that Haitians are eating pets in Ohio?

In order to answer this I came up with a little story that goes like this …

Shameless vixen! Trollop!

Dick! I heard about the lay-off. What's a square-jaw crime fighter doing these days to bring in the bling?

I want to touch my sister’s boobs. What do I say?

Marijuana makes Jesus cry!

Speaking of which, poor Cleo Coco has ended up appearing in anti-vice pamphlets.

Of all the layoffs, Torchy Todd and her gal pal, Tess Parker, were hit the hardest.

Do you feel uncomfortable when you come across cross dressers?

And then working as Betty and Veronica's body doubles ...

¡Explotando Dick por todos lados!

Only zombies dig to rock and roll, daddy-O!

What defines the k'vanna of the Book of בראשית?

Remember, kids, masturbation will make you see the devil everywhere!

In 1954 complete bastard and censorship campaigner Fredric Wertham published a book for the stated goal of creating a moral panic around comic book's alleged impact on juvenile delinquency. Much like the House Committee on Un-American Activities' disastrous impact on the film industry, the Comics Code Authority (obey, puny humans) put many hardworking comic book characters out of work all because of one poorly written book called …

Make Nazis afraid again!

What is the moral stance on lying? Can you provide examples of when it is appropriate or inappropriate to lie? Does the Bible address this issue?

Before there was MAGA there was … the Comics Code Authority

Times might be tough … But at least there's one thing we all agree on.

Just you, me, in a vat of lime jello, pulling hair, calling each other names …

How do I rat my boss out for serial cheating on his wife?

Let's do what we always do, lay around half-naked while men make terrible jokes at our expense.

TEXT:

Torchy, we're unemployed … And no one is hiring scantily-clad wastrels these days.

Why do almost all the girls on Quora look beautiful?

At least until the peyote kicks in ...

Sex! Lingerie! Knock knock jokes!